the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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