We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
