On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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