Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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