One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
