I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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