if only i could text you this smell
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
