Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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