i don't plan on having that self control this summer
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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