I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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