it wasn't lemon gatorade
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
