stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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