Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
