She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
