They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Life is so much better after having sex.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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