YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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