What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
