Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
