i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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