before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
