I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
