i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
