that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize