Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
