How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
