i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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