I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
