Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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