I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
