found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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