Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
