I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
