Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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