i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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