I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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