I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
