We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
