Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
