Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
