Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
NoShamevember. You game?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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