38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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