I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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