I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think your dad took our porno
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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