toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
