the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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