If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
