I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
