I'm going to jail i love you
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
