I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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