Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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